Do you remember drinking your first beer? (In this memory we’ll just assume we all were eager, bright eyed and responsible 21 year olds, because we were!) So many other people around were doing it, and the compulsion to do it was there. And then you caved and did it. At first, it was a bitter liquid to swallow and you struggled to finish it while simultaneously maintaining your cool and acting like it was like, totally second nature. “Beer? Yeah, I used to get bottles full of Miller High Life when I was a kid,” was the impression you were nonchalantly trying to convey. Then came the downward spiral after the beer swilling came to a close. The sloshy-stomach feeling, dizzy, nauseous and inability to stand up correctly – that was the bad part. But even with that not-quite-there feeling, you felt good, like GOOD, like you’d accomplished something and were flying high with the most awesome of awesomeness.
Then you blacked out and feel strange sensations in your body the next morning. You may claim not to do it again, but you know you will. And the next time, your body handles it a little better. You drink one more. You get better at beer pong! And you can tolerate sunlight just a little easier than before. Then the next weekend comes, and you’re pounding them down with the best of them! And that, my friends is how your early drinking adventures are like beginning a running program. You start off slowly, timidly, and build up your body to a comfortable level before pushing it again to yet another level of physical achievement.
Running is just such another physical achievement – not something that can be jumped into, and not something that can be picked up at the same pace that you left off three months ago, but something to slowly warm your body up to. The body is an elastic thing that requires training, be your sport running, swilling brews or competitive hotdog eating. Next time you think that taking up running would be too hard, remember that night when you stood awkwardly at that party with cold, cheap beer in your hand trying to force it down your gullet so you’d feel as cool as the others. You’ll be a six pack hero in no time, just like you can be the person whizzing by down the sidewalk, effortlessly pounding out miles like it ain’t no thing. Just get on your running shoes, start gently and get ready, because I hear there’s nothing like drinking a cold one once you’ve crossed the finish line.
Other irrelevant but humorous ways that drinking beer is like running:
• If you do too much of either, you just want to lay down and vomit everywhere
• People think you’re crazy to do either of those activities early on a Saturday morning
• You hold your arms up in a V for victory when you’ve made a major accomplishment in either
• Sweatbands make both activities look extra bitchin’
Let me know if you have any ways that drinking beer is like running!